between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
