I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
