If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
