Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
