found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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