on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
