We won't sleep together?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
