He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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