my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My vagina is very pro this idea
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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