I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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