and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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