Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
