He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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