WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
