so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
