And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
