is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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