Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
operation have a gay friend backfired
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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