I'm lost and stupid without you.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
