it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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