You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
