Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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