I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
