I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
