i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
