are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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