you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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