Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
