you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
