He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
