This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
