Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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