i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
