Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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