best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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