Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
