did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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