We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
whose parrot is this?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
