I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
