i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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