He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
