So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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