Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
