I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
