I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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