no, he came in my armpit
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
