he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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