Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
