So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
