Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
