if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
