her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
